If the sorrow becomes too much, will there be enough space for pain and joy to share in a single person’s heart?
When Kitty’s son was diagnosed with AIDS, her world crumbled at the palm of her hand. Not because there was nothing she could do about it, but because it had put her son at the hands of an illness she could not control. It did not help that the stigma surrounding it made her son’s life more difficult, but she did what she could to fight for every breath she can give to the most precious being in her life.
Chip was the center of Kitty’s life, and she loved him with all the love a mother could feel. Despite the discriminating beliefs, discoveries, rough journey, she held on to faith. When it is the fate of a loved one, there is no choice but to hope beyond hope. There can be no room for another because those negative thoughts are to accept the cynical chances partly.
Yet she lost that war. She lost her son. She lost her light, her world, her little boy, her Chip. Imagine being in that situation. If a mother could grieve for an unborn child, she would despair at the loss of one whose smile had once brightened her dark days.
Such a state is living a life in a gloomy haze of knowing what happened and finding the strength to accept that truth. The twisting pain in the chest can never be replaced with delighted joy from a loved one’s call. The empty bedroom will forever be empty of the once shrieking laughter echoing throughout the house. The front porch will never feel the same small shoes that once ran across its creaking floors. Nothing will ever be the same.
Do not let that wretched heartbreak consume you. Let your heart fill with the hurt of it all. Let it come, savor it, then live for the sake of it. There is so much you can do to make the pain worth it all. Like what Kitty Caley did, find your meaning in this world of life and death. Fight for the wrongs that you went through, fight for the rights of what you have discovered. The world is full of pain and loss, helping those very people heal from their broken hearts. To do so, you must accept healing yourself first.