Testimonials

Anne Jones, AL January 8, 2017

A few months ago, I had the privilege of meeting Kitty Caley in person. She shared with me the reason that she wrote her book, Ultimate Love: A Life of Soul and Searching. She told me she had not planned to write a book, but someone suggested that writing about Chip’s experience and what she and her son went through may help with her healing process. After listening to Kitty relates some of Chip’s struggles, I wanted to read her book. Ultimate Love is the story of the bond shared by a mother and her son. It is also a story of one man’s experience with a terrible disease. The book is funny, warm, agonizing and uplifting. It is both heart-breaking and heart-warming. The reader will laugh and will cry. Kitty does an amazing job of relating Chip’s longing for acceptance and love from his biological father, as well as the suffering he endured during his battle with AIDS Related Syndrome. Kitty’s writing draws the reader into Chip’s life and helps the reader visualize the agony that Chip endured. The reader also feels the maternal love and compassion that Kitty displays for Chip. Kitty sacrifices her own needs to make Chip’s life bearable. Through this traumatic experience, Kitty and Chip find Gods love.

I highly recommend Ultimate Love: A Life of Soul & Searching to any reader, especially those who may be caring for a loved one that is terminally ill.

Mark Stevens

Dear Kitty:

You’ve braved “the bitter grief” and through reading your book I have vicariously come to “understand” some measure of this bravery.

From title page to final page the one overriding theme, surpassing all others, is your passionate plea and clarion call for more compassion in the world: Heartfelt, tender and sincere … a pure love … genuine and gentle … filled with empathy, not sympathy … more of mercy and acceptance … a true desire to learn and understand, to be understood … and a desire to be of service to others.

Additionally, that life is good … that all human life, brief or extended, should be celebrated and cherished. The dying deserves our compassion of non-judgment, non-criticism … that our courage to serve the dying should supersede and rise above any rational or irrational fears … real, or learned or imagined.

And, that life and death is to be embraced with dignity not fear. And that all life, no matter its duration, is to be treasured.

This is also a journey of both caregiver and observer … showing how to overcome one’s own fears and doubts, one’s own misunderstandings and prejudices. We are encouraged to rise up to the occasion; to speak up for the dying; to be an advocate for the dying … both while they live and after their death … to be their memory, their voice … that others may learn of them, remember them and that the dead are not forgotten.

There is also self-love to consider … turning compassion toward yourself … to forgive your own weaknesses and actions and limitations … and then to tum that compassion also toward the mean, the scorners and the haters, the misinformed and the fearful. Ultimate love is universal… compassion knows no bounds.

It is not our place to judge the living or the dead. Judgement belongs to Providence and the Divine. We are not qualified to judge. Our banner, our motto and our rallying cry should be love and compassion … Ultimate Love!

Thank you for allowing me to read your book.

May Heaven shine down upon you for sharing the life, the wonder and the joy that is Chip, your son! May Heaven heal you and all others of any regrets or lingering doubts! We are all, simply, “only human”. We are all unqualified, continually guessing the answers, seeking for the truth. Be at peace. All life is short. One hundred years is short when compared to eternity. We can only do the best we can by being who we are as we labor to become better people ourselves and by serving those around us.

Thank you, Mark Stevens

Sharon Check

It was an honor and a privilege to read this special book by Kitty Caley. It is a book of love and compassion and selfless love by mother and son. We can all learn from the examples set by Chip and Kitty. They truly exemplify the example of Jesus Christ our Savior.

Sherrie Mota

I really appreciated this book a lot. I am a super religious person and I felt that I should read it. It taught me a great deal of things–first and foremost, it taught me love. Love for children. It isn’t easy to be patient with four children and you know, kids aren’t very fast (I heard “you just can’t rush a 3 year old. also, I have had 3 interruptions so far as I’m writing this! “I want water … l’m hungry, etc.”) But as you see Kitty tending to her son, you feel her patience will NEVER wear thin. She non Stop takes care of him, tending to his every need. She even quits her job without a word of complaint–anything just to be with her son Chip.

I also learned from Chip’s grueling ordeal; it’s just that it was SO HARD for him and it taught me endurance and not to be a “baby.” He endured in a way unimaginable; I just now realized he NEVER complained and you have no idea how bad the pain was. You can tell from Kitty’s description of what he went through, for example, his legs getting tangled in each other nonstop towards the end because he was so emaciated. That is just one of many painful sounding ordeals he went through. Yes, Chip might yell out in pain but never did he complain about the pain. He suffered so quietly and with such dignity.

Sadly, I don’t think he ever even described the pain to his mom, now that I think of it. She would figure it out on her own. He only would say, for instance, “my legs are tangled” or he might keep readjusting himself and then his mom would realize he had no tush to sit on so there was no cushion and she would realize why he kept readjusting himself. Yes, he suffered without complaining. When people were mean to him (which was actually rare because of his amazing personality that made so many friends for him) because of his AIDS, he suffered quietly as well.

This book taught me never to judge that just because someone is suffering something means they are being punished. There is NO WAY that could be true for Chip. You just have to trust me on that one. If you read the book, you will see that for sure is 100% true. I know there is a scripture where Jesus says not to judge that people are being punished for their sins when they suffer. Ours is to love unconditionally.

Well, I just learned so much from Kitty’s strength and endurance and Chip’s purity.